Postscript: WOW! That call forever changed our lives. Tqira is now 14-years-old and is officially ours. So are her bio siblings. It has been a long hard journey for all of us, but we are persevering as we learn how to do life together as a family. I wouldn't change it even if I could, because I know that these trials are what make our journeys unique and draw us closer to our Savior.
This blog is written by a sometimes crazy, brutally open, over-achieving, passionate Christian mom to 20 children who joined our family through birth and adoption -- and another 30+ we have fostered. It is a transparent look at the problems and joys that arise when birthing, adopting, fostering, and raising many kids with varying issues in the context of an imperfect but loving family. It is a raw, honest, mother- view of my life calling - to mother other people's children in a Mega-Family!
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
More Children. More Milk. When did saying yes to a new child take less time than buying gallon of milk or brushing my teeth?
Note: Writing and posting apparently aren't the same thing. :-) I write all the time for myself, but getting it into post form takes more time than I can muster sometimes. I can't believe I haven't posted since July 26, 2014. So sad. Here's an oldie I just found.
More Children. More Milk.
(Written when we added Child # 14 -February 28, 2007)
The call just came. Actually, it came yesterday afternoon. Due to circumstances beyond her control, the seven-year-old sibling of one of our current long-term foster children needs a new home. I knew that we would take her because our mission has always been to keep sibling groups together. But our routine life is so busy, I don’t even get a chance to tell my husband that I have agreed to accept a new child.
We are still in bed at 6:00 and the alarm sounds. He turns over and I remember the big news, “Honey, I forgot to tell you that we have a new child coming next week. Actually, we know her. We have been taking her siblings to visit her and she’s the one stayed here at Christmas and a few other times this past year."
“Okay,” he murmurs, as if I just announced that I was going to run to the store to pick up another 4 gallons of milk for breakfast.
This is so strange. When did adding another long-term child to the family become so routine that the entire conversation takes less time than brushing my teeth?
“She’ll be here March 6.” I tried to get the current foster mom to hold on until March 21 so that we can have a little more time to adjust to our latest models -- our 2-week-old grandchild and our 20-year-old college student that just moved back home -- but it doesn’t work out.
“How does she feel about it?” he inquires.
“Oh, I think she’s excited. She’ll get to be with her siblings and niece and she loves them,” I say hopefully.
So, we are now officially parenting 14 children, plus a grandchild at least 2 weekends a month.
The new one is a real cutie – but active. Things will be very different in a few days. She will arrive in the midst of the unstoppable routine of our daily lives. Yet another child joining us with no preparation, no real thought… just an acceptance that we are parents again.
People keep asking me if I feel stressed. I should. And usually I do. But right now I’m just taking each minute as it comes. There is a point at which it is no longer possible to remain in control. To plan. To predict. I don’t know exactly which child caused me to realize this – but I finally did, and more times than not – which is better than when I was younger and thought I had it all under control – I can actually remember the lesson.
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I just love your blog! Thank you for your honest transparency. You encourage me to keep going!ReplyDelete
Thanks! I'm getting pretty good at putting myself out there! And I LOVE the word transparent. I've written a lot about that on my other blog!ReplyDelete
Your screen name is intriguing! Sounds like you are doing some pretty courageous things yourself.